How Do I Start Homeschooling? (Yes, There's a Checklist.)
written by Sarah Barrett
Every year thousands of parents type the same question into Google:
"How do I start homeschooling?"
Usually, what they're looking for is a practical checklist.
* What curriculum should I buy?
* What supplies do I need?
* What paperwork do I file?
* What schedule should I follow?
Those are important questions. But after more than ten years of homeschooling my kids (and being homeschooled myself decades ago), and after helping hundreds of families begin their own journey — I believe most of us start in the wrong place.
We start by asking,"What should I teach so they can get into college?" instead of asking, "What conditions can I create so they experience a deep sense of well-being? So that as adults, they become fully themselves and build lives filled with purpose, joy, and connection?”
This one question changes everything.
If we rush through the process, we stay on the surface and think the goal of education is preparing the student for college and a career. Your homeschooler can most certainly go to college and have a career, but if you really slow down and think about what you want for them as an adult, is preparing them for college and career really enough?
My kids are older now and have experienced some of life’s ups and downs. When I think about them twenty years from now, as forty-year old adults, I want them to know how to find contentment in every day. I want them to be surrounded by people who lift them up. I want them to be courageous and resilient as they face life’s inevitable struggles. I want them to continue to use their creative gifts and to feel confident in the many gifts they know they have. I want them to feel like they are doing meaningful work.
College will certainly help open doors for them, but since we cannot predict what the future will look like with the onset of AI and other technical innovations, they will need more than a college degree. They will need a core of strength, depth, and hope to draw from.
Download Our Educational Values Exercise
At Lotus & Ivy, we encourage families to begin with our Educational Values Exercise before purchasing a single curriculum. Spend about an hour reflecting on one child at a time. By the end, you'll have identified the three values you most want to cultivate in your child's education this year. Those values become your compass.
One of my favorite lessons from The Wizard of Oz is that Dorothy didn't begin her journey with all the right supplies and support around her.
She met the Scarecrow, and then the Tin Man, and then the Lion. The path unfolded one step at a time. Homeschooling works much the same way. You won’t have every answer before you begin. You simply need enough courage to take the next faithful step. As your family grows, your homeschool will grow with you. You'll add layers, refine your rhythm, discover new interests, meet mentors, find community. The journey unfolds as you walk it. For us, it wasn’t until our third year of homeschooling that it felt like we found our stride.
Don’t Recreate Someone Else’s Education
One of the most common pieces of homeschooling advice is, "Don't recreate school at home." I agree, but I'd take it one step further. Don't recreate someone else's education.
Homeschooling gives you an extraordinary opportunity to create an education uniquely suited to your child. Schools do their best to individualize learning through IEPs and accommodations for students with different needs. As a homeschooling parent, you have the freedom to build something even more personal—a learning experience shaped around your child's strengths, interests, developmental pace, and emerging gifts.
This isn't about lowering expectations. It's about creating an education that fits the child instead of asking the child to fit the system. What a blessing for your children!
Create the Conditions Before You Teach the Lessons
Children flourish under certain conditions. Before worrying about textbooks, ask yourself:
* Does my child feel emotionally safe?
* Do we have a peaceful rhythm?
* Is there time for creativity?
* Is there room for nature?
* Do we read beautiful stories?
* Are we connected as a family?
* Is our home filled with warmth?
These conditions matter because children learn best when they feel secure, connected, and inspired. No one can learn something new when they are stressed, pressured, fearful, hungry, or overwhelmed.
Curriculum and lessons “work” much more naturally when the right conditions are in place.
Think of Bob Ross painting a landscape. He didn’t begin with every tiny detail. He began with broad strokes. And sometimes we wouldn’t know where he was going with it, but he would add layer upon layer until something beautiful emerged. Your homeschool will unfold the same way.
Support is Necessary
One of the biggest surprises for many new homeschool parents is realizing they don't have to teach everything themselves. In fact, you probably don’t have the expertise or passion in every subject. Maybe someone else teaches:
* Spanish
* Music
* Math
* Art
* Science labs
* Theatre
* Woodworking
* Essay-writing
Or maybe you simply ask for help with meal preparation, childcare, or house cleaning so you have more energy for the things only you can do.
Years ago, I wanted my own children to experience music and Spanish, so I created an enrichment program and invited wonderful teachers to share their gifts. It became one of the highlights of our homeschool journey.
Support isn't a sign you're failing. It's part of creating a sustainable homeschool. If you feel drained or overwhelmed, it will negatively impact your children. The grown-ups are the custodians of sustainable rhythms for the home. It is your responsibility to make sure the rhythm is in place and it is life-giving for your family. We talk a lot about rhythm at Lotus & Ivy during our Grown-Up Circles, so be sure to join us if this is an area where you could use support. (Add link to website for more info.)
With Homeschooling Comes Freedom
One of homeschooling's greatest gifts is freedom.
Freedom from unnecessary rushing.
Freedom from comparing your child to everyone else.
Freedom to be themselves.
Freedom to honor your child's natural development. For many children, this even includes sleep. Rather than waking children before sunrise to catch a bus, homeschooling often allows them to wake naturally—especially during the elementary and middle school years when growing bodies may genuinely need more rest.
As children get older, you'll naturally help them develop responsibility and healthy habits, but in the early years, honoring healthy sleep can be one of the simplest ways to support learning, mood, and overall well-being.
Don't Look Too Far Ahead
One of the quickest ways to overwhelm yourself is trying to plan twelve years of homeschooling before you've finished your first week. You don't need to know everything today. You only need to know the next step.
Some families take a gap year before high school.
Some spend a year traveling together.
Some take a year off of math to help re-set confidence and perspective.
Others dive deeply into theatre, sports, music, entrepreneurship, farming, or outdoor education.
Your homeschool doesn't have to look like anyone else's. It shouldn’t look like anyone else’s because your family and your children are unique.
Disappointed When Summer Arrives
At the end of their very first year homeschooling with Lotus & Ivy, my niece and nephew—who had been in third and fifth grade—were disappointed when summer arrived. Their father told me,
"In previous years (in their local school), they couldn't wait for school to end. This year they were sad for summer to come, and they wished school would keep going."
To me, that's one of the most beautiful measures of an education. Not simply that children learned, but that they loved learning so much that they didn’t want it to end.
Isn't that what we all hope for?
Your Homeschool Start-Up Checklist
☐ Complete the Lotus & Ivy Educational Values Exercise for each child.
☐ Spend time reflecting so your decisions come from love and conviction - not fear or comparison.
☐ Learn your state's homeschooling requirements and complete any withdrawal or registration forms. In most states, it is very simple.
☐ Create a simple daily and weekly rhythm before creating a detailed schedule. Include time in nature, field trip days, time for creative work, movement, and special time for connection between parent and child. You can even add in your daily meal plans (like Taco Tuesdays).
☐ Identify where you can invite support into your life (home chores, meals, outside teachers, etc.).
☐ Choose curriculum only after you've clarified your values and vision. To save you some time (and oftentimes money too), I would steer away from worksheet-heavy or test-based curricula and toward hands-on and story-based approaches. These tend to be more meaningful for children and lend themselves to true learning, rather than memorizing algorithms.
☐ Allow your homeschool to unfold one layer at a time. You can change your mind anytime. Don’t rush!
☐ Imagine the possibilities instead of dwelling on the fears.
Homeschooling isn't simply about teaching your children at home. It's about creating the conditions where they can flourish. And along the way, you may discover that you flourish too. The years I spent homeschooling my children were some of the best years of my life and I would do it again 100 times!
Ready to Begin?
Download our Educational Values Exercise and take the first step toward creating an education as unique as your child.